I don’t think I feel that same thankfulness everyone keeps going on and on about for everything. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just kind of blank inside because I read some of the “I’m thankful for…” posts and think, “Huh? Really? You have to pinpoint every separate thing you “feel” thankful for?” I think some more and I can come up with a superficial list of things that one would clearly be grateful for in this life, and then that’s it. If I say “thankful for this and thankful for that” it would be fake, not a lie, just like an extra layer of super sweet icing that might be amazing the first couple of tastes, but then it gets tooooooo overwhelmingly numbingly saccharine and then goes a bit blah. The cake underneath then gets forgotten, or at least it doesn’t taste as good as it should.
I’m not saying all those “thankful” posts are fake, don’t misinterpret what I’m saying. I’m saying that some of us don’t think the same way. Some of us don’t need to be thanked a lot or told how important we are, or need to be acknowledged by the whole world. I love it when someone I love dearly tells me how much I mean to them, it’s not constant and it’s not forced. When they say it it means everything. I don’t need it though. I already know, call it ego or self absorbed, but I reckon that I am important to some humans on this planet and just believing that is enough for me. The words are a bonus:)
I’m pretty transparent in my feelings and thoughts, as you know. I don’t hide away from being different or disagreeing with anyone on almost anything. You know where I stand on issues, and topics, and life….and if you KNOW me you already know my feelings about you. If I need to make a special effort to always point it out to you, say it along with everyone else, put the super sweet icing on top of the cake all the time, well, I’m not sure you will ever be fully satisfied with our friendship/relationship because I hate to break it to you….I don’t do what other people do!! 🙂 When I feel a strong urge to tell someone exactly what they mean to me, I do it. I don’t do it for show or to satisfy your need to be acknowledged (the truth is what it is), I do it because in this life we don’t know what’s around the corner. Sometimes when things get tough we are shocked when the people we thought were true friends abandon us, but think about it, were they really friends or just feeding your ego all the time with the sugar?
I want what I say and how I say it to mean something. If I say it all the time, use the same words over and over and over to seem sweeter and more sugary than I am…well, it won’t mean anything anymore, just too much icing for the cake.